I am one to forgive, but I am not one to forget. Partially because I wear my heart on my sleeve, and due to my traditional Cancerian sensitivity everything hurt more. When someone hurts me, I need to be left alone to lick my wounds and I will bounce back in my own time. It seems today that everyone is in a rush to live their lives and taking time out of a situation to recover means you are falling behind. Are you going to forgive me or not? I said sorry! Do you still love me?
I have recently learnt that forgiving but not forgetting suits me. I am the kind of person, and probably from having BPD, that I either really love someone or they fall into my bad books. Yes I do see life like marmite love it or hate it.
We are all human and make mistakes, and heaven knows I’ve made a few. It seems that people were quick to dismiss and kick me out of their lives, when I forgave them time and time again for hurting me. I do not mean to preach, but I use Jesus as the perfect example of someone who faces forgiveness perfectly. He carried on loving Judas who betrayed him right until the end. He forgave Judas and he never stopped loving him. But at the same time our Lord is not one who will be walked all over. I am not saying to forgive and let people walk allover you, but sometimes it is easier to forgive because it just ends up stopping you from living your life and your happiness. It doesn’t mean shaking hands and that person becoming your best friend like nothing happened, but it is about closing a door and allowing yourself to heal.
But I don’t forget.