Unhealthy Obsessions

When I was manic I was obsessed with furniture. After I lost my job and my ex left me I needed to get his stuff out and have a fresh start. Of course being manic this healthy change turned into a full blown expensive obsession. I was practically buying furniture, then giving it away brand new. The delivery guys new my address off by heart. Now slowly that obsession has started to creep back in and I’m trying to figure out why. There have been two big triggers; my friend who is also my next door neighbour is moving, and the whole thing is strange. I am so happy they have found an amazing home for themselves but at the same time someone becomes part of your home and your life- like part of the furniture. Me and my partner are also moving next year, and I think because everyone else is moving on perhaps it means that I am ready to move on to. This flat and it’s stuff represents the old me, the person who was sick and self harming, the person who threw the furniture in a rage. I’m ready to move to a new town now and start living my life. Perhaps I’m also filling the void with stuff. I’m just ready to set sail now and have a proper home with my fella. The old me is slowly disappearing…

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