Hallucinations

I went two days with out taking my anti psychotics until I eventually was fed up of not sleeping and coming out in hives. I’ve been back on 25mg the last three nights and that has sent me scatty. When I go back on Quetiapine my paranoia comes back and my obsessions and anxiety are completely enhanced. It was really scary because like clock work when I took it I was hallucinating and seeing my boyfriends face age and changed. I didn’t know he was, where I was, and I thought he had kidnapped someone and had kept them locked in the boot of his car! I also thought he had drugged my glass of water! I was so confused and frightened and he said I completely changed. He almost called the crisis team. It was scary the thoughts were so overpowering and my body was in a unconfused state. It was scary how quickly I changed the Meds whacked me out and I woke up back to normal and the medications half life was leaving my system. I was ok last night as I just reminded myself where I was and who I was. I rung the mental nurse and he said it was a mixture of withdrawing from it, going back on it suddenly and taking sleeping pills. We agreed I would stay on 25mg until he speaks to the doctor. It’s crazy how much this medication affects me. My moods were so short and sensitive. I can’t seem to get off this stuff! When I come off it the withdrawal symptoms are so frightening I go back onto it and then of course going back on it my mind goes crazy. It’s strong shit and I wish I never was on. But then when I’m on it I’m calmer but the first few weeks starting it again I go crazy. It’s like my mania is back. It’s frightening. I don’t know when this is going to end. Anyway my sleeping has been much better I’ve been going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 8am. I’ve been forcing myself to stay awake and be busy which helps. Maintaining a decent routine is so difficult when you don’t work and you are on strong medication. Anyway moving in February with my partner which is so exciting! Must think positive!

Amy Belle

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