The Trigger Week

Do you have a certain day or week of the year that sets you off? Like if you miss a parent it might be father’s days, maybe somebody isn’t with you on Christmas Day or June 26th is a day that a traumatic event happened? Anyway, my week is this week. It’s the build up to the day that we lost Nanny. It will be 7 years this Saturday. Out of all of the days to pass away on my Nan went on Remembrance Day November 11th! She definitely made sure she wasn’t going to be forgotten.

I am feeling a heaviness about this week, like I just want to get the weekend over and done with. I have been crying in the early hours of the morning and I feel anxious with dread in my body. My loved ones are surrounding me like a cotton ball because it’s likely that of all weeks for me to go downhill it is always this week. However, my Nan wouldn’t want me to be sad and we are planning a lovely dinner to celebrate and remember her.

It’s also 8 weeks TO THE DAY on Saturday since I have self-harmed- coincidence? I think Nanny is cheering me on!

Also, grandad went on the Queen’s Birthday… We don’t go quietly in our family :’)

6 thoughts on “The Trigger Week

  1. Oh darling. I am so sorry. Losing a loved one is such pain. My anniversary of my Dad’ s death in January 8 but he was diagnosed in early November so I have found this time of year very hard and I got sober on 6 Dec 1993. I buried my grief for years. You are feeling yours. Let yourself have a lot of hugs from those who love you. Your Nan died on a grief filled day. And you arent self harming… how wonderful…. Keep sharing. We love you. D xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Deb you are so kind. You were so brave to turn a moment could’ve broken you into something so positive and life changing. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Yes I’m proud of myself. I love you all too x

      Liked by 1 person

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