Does BPD Mean I’m An Adult Child? 

If you look around my flat you will see it is very pink and girly. Almost childish. I collect animal dolls and kitten figures, everything is cute and colourful. I have also noticed that I am having to grow up again. BPD can sometimes mean we react in a childish way, for example when I get angry I can have tantrums like a toddler would have/ and I often can’t understand some things. I have become a slave to my emotions. Perhaps because we didn’t have the chance to be child, we had to grow up quickly and now we are adults we want to recapture our childhood that we missed again. I started everything late in life, going clubbing, having friends and being care free. Now I am healing and losing my Bpd I can see that I am finally growing up. But I will always be a scared little girl longing to be loved. I also have a very childish state of mind. I can not cope with one thing at time and I don’t think about the xonqeuwn e of things +I am also terrified of people being disappointed in me and worry about what they say. I also often ask for permission and want to hear what they want me to do I offer that I am actually an adult in my eyebrows and not little anymore! 

40 thoughts on “Does BPD Mean I’m An Adult Child? 

  1. I think it is a little like being ‘frozen’ in child like responses, since we never got to mature and self soothe or find more helpful ways to express ourselves. When a loving inner parent can show up for your child its easier not to act these things out, but raw wounds can hurt and sometimes we do, but understanding why and if we were triggered can help. Just seeing this means you are trying to grow. ❤

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    1. Absolutely I think I didn’t have the ability to self soothe and now I am growing on that and am actually emotionally about 12 now- responsible for my actions- but still see the world in black and white. I think that like in the recovery we have made it is asking why we act as we do and chanting it that will help us over come this difficulty x

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  2. OMGosh. You just described me. Your post was so good and it sounded so much like me. I can relate to your words and thank you very much for your post because it helps me to know others feel like I do. Thank you thank you thank you. This was awesome and I appreciate your sharing it. Hugs, Sue

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    1. Don’t you worry what anyone else thinks!!! It matters that you feel comforted and safe with what is around you. I’d rather go into a house with toys and dolls and stuffed animals than vases and art work that is only there to please other people and does nothing but show off and gives no comfort to anyone!

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  3. My home looks like a full grown woman my age and a child of both genders decorated. I use stuffed toys instead of decorative pillows. I collect dolls and action figures. I like what I like. It also helps that my friends, father and sister are the same way. Mom tried to shame me out of liking cartoons when I was 18. Didn’t work. I am not immature. I am self aware and I love adorable fluffy things. I think it is to off set the slightly demented side of me. Long story short keep the toys! 😉

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    1. Oh you sound awesome! Who doesn’t love cartoons no matter what age we are! Anime is very popular with older people and my dad always laughed to watching Cartoon Network. The Simpsons and Family Guy are cartoons made for adults lol! Your family sounds amazing- I would love to see what you get each other for Christmas and Birthdays!

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      1. I got my dad a pinky vynal pop figure, a graphic novel, and some roots shirts. I also always draw him episodes of a comic I created just for him. My sister is getting doll cloths I hand sew, a tiny tmnt I crocheted, a Pusheen plushie and a bunch of cute little things I have gotten her over the year. I usually get sailor Jupiter stuff, monster high dolls, material and other sewing or crafting stuff. We are all like children. Oh my parents also all by me and my sister my little pony stuff. My brother in law loves TMNT and batman so he gets a lot of stuff of that. We are big kids!

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  4. My dresser has 3 stuffed animals on it. One that I sleep with on the bad nights. I see nothing wrong with this at all. And colorful is cheerful and bright! Maybe that tantrums are just you allowing yourself to be angry and feel emotions you weren’t allowed to feel before.

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  5. I totally get what you’re saying and feel that is how I am too. I will shift from acting childlike to feeling like I have to pretend to be an adult. My mind is always feeling into everyone else’s feelings around me and I find myself analyzing everyone’s facial expressions. I also have a childlike clutter throughout my home and collect things that are rather immature for my age. I play video games and want everyone to be happy, even at the expense of my own happiness.
    Do you feel that way too?

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    1. Oh yes very much! You are not alone! Have also found that I make my home very much to how I would have had it should I have been able to have it in a stable home growing up x I think you sound very empathic and kid x

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      1. My household growing up was chaotic and really scary at times. So I have found now I can try to have the things I didn’t as a kid and nurture that side of me in hope I will grown and not feel so empty inside. Thank you Amybelle, you are also very kind!

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      2. So sorry to hear that 😦 I think we go back to gain what we lost as children because it is safe as adults to go back- we are adults now after all! If you are happy then keep doing it because that is all that matters! My flat literally looks like a ten year old lives there! Hehe who cares?! Xxx

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  6. I’m the same- i most recently got into bright colours and everything animal related. My behaviour though, is what you describe. I can talk very sweet and light and other times when i want to be understood i return to my ‘adult’ voice. I also still suck my thumb, which is kind of embarrassing but i know its a warm childhood comfort i do that distresses me ❤

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