If you look around my flat you will see it is very pink and girly. Almost childish. I collect animal dolls and kitten figures, everything is cute and colourful. I have also noticed that I am having to grow up again. BPD can sometimes mean we react in a childish way, for example when I get angry I can have tantrums like a toddler would have/ and I often can’t understand some things. I have become a slave to my emotions. Perhaps because we didn’t have the chance to be child, we had to grow up quickly and now we are adults we want to recapture our childhood that we missed again. I started everything late in life, going clubbing, having friends and being care free. Now I am healing and losing my Bpd I can see that I am finally growing up. But I will always be a scared little girl longing to be loved. I also have a very childish state of mind. I can not cope with one thing at time and I don’t think about the xonqeuwn e of things +I am also terrified of people being disappointed in me and worry about what they say. I also often ask for permission and want to hear what they want me to do I offer that I am actually an adult in my eyebrows and not little anymore!