Being A Loner

I always had friends up until I started secondary school where I didn’t know anyone. Ever since then even at college in my early twentys I still had no friends. I always had people I had a chat and a fag with but no proper friends. I seem to have a pattern of being intensly friends with someone and then they disapeer out of my life. I thought this was my pattern of having BPD but it was either my friends ended up having a baby or getting bored of using me for my money. Now I am 26 I have found myself really not bothered about having friends. The dramas that would have set me off before don’t bother me. I think it is because I have learnt to be comfortable on my own. I adore the people that are in my life already, and I love meeting new people but I’m not feeling a desperate need to have people be my bestfriends in order to complete me. I don’t understand how people can have more than one close friend. I find it difficult to maintain one decent friendship. Now I’m growing up I see my future is becoming a family not really getting drunk every weekend with the gang.

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