You Are Not A Robot

A massive part of healing is acceptance.

I was always ashamed of having feelings and was made to feel guilty for having them growing up. Because of this guilt I self-harm in order to punish myself. A massive part of my recovery from BPD has been to accept that I am not a robot and it is OK to have feelings. We are human beings.

I was crying the other day because of a number of things that were out my control. My partner comforted me and I ended up saying “sorry” over and over again. Why was I apologising for crying? I was ill, in bed with anemia and I was tired. Anyone else would have cried through frustration as well and I wouldn’t have expected them to apologise for how they were feeling!

I said to myself, aloud (probably for the first time ever), “Amy it is OK to cry, you are only human, you are allowed to have feelings”.

You wouldn’t treat someone as bad as you treat yourself. So why do we do it?

Amy Belle

 

16 thoughts on “You Are Not A Robot

  1. A great question and one which CBT helped me see some answers to. But it is still not easy, especially if it means finding the energy to remove yourself from toxic situations that keep pushing you back under. Hugs my friend. Darren

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      1. Ten years ago when I was depressed and actively planning suicide due to low self esteem issues CBT was hugely helpful. My more recent problems were of a different nature and I do not think CBT would help. Certainly for self image problems I would recommend it. Dx

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      2. Thanks Darren. I think you are like me, when you are busy and feel wanted and you are socialising you feel you can forget you are ill and don’t need therapy. I think that therapy works for some people- but for people like you and me we are already half way there by ourselves and just needed someone out of the box to remind us what we are capable of.

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      3. 😀. You are right I think. I also think that for people who are fairly intelligent and have a knowledge of the way therapy works it is more difficult sometimes as we are aware we are basically trying to trick our own minds and they resist!
        Friends outside that box are, like you say, a huge part in our journey. Just some affection or support or some friendliness to show we are moving the right way makes a huge difference. Stay positive Amy! 💕

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    1. You dont have a weirdly weird brain you are a unquie person who reacts in their own way to panic! Some people get angry, some people stay quiet, some people cry. It is better to let it out than keep it building up and up inside x

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