A massive part of healing is acceptance.
I was always ashamed of having feelings and was made to feel guilty for having them growing up. Because of this guilt I self-harm in order to punish myself. A massive part of my recovery from BPD has been to accept that I am not a robot and it is OK to have feelings. We are human beings.
I was crying the other day because of a number of things that were out my control. My partner comforted me and I ended up saying “sorry” over and over again. Why was I apologising for crying? I was ill, in bed with anemia and I was tired. Anyone else would have cried through frustration as well and I wouldn’t have expected them to apologise for how they were feeling!
I said to myself, aloud (probably for the first time ever), “Amy it is OK to cry, you are only human, you are allowed to have feelings”.
You wouldn’t treat someone as bad as you treat yourself. So why do we do it?