I have been feeling like a volcano about to erupt. Struggling with a depressive cycle and the doctor advising me all I can do is ride with this cycle hasn’t helped. I have had so much going on! Me and my partner are moving out, getting new furniture, trying to keep up with blogging, worrying about my friend, an old friend being back in my life, a pregnancy scare, settling on new medication, managing my home, setting up my new computer, organising studying material and on top of that starting my psychology degree today- blimey I think my head is going to explode! I have had so much to do yet all my body wants to do is sleep. I am so proud of myself for not self-harming! I done some stupid, but simple coping techniques to help me achieve what I needed to do today and tackle the mountain of my thoughts. I am also reflecting on why I want to self-harm which helps me stop doing it; I want to gain back some control of the things that are out of my control in life, I also have thoughts that I can’t do this degree because I am useless and it’s too much for me. But I reminded myself that I can do it, I want to do it, and I made a plan to get through my massive task load!
1. I sulked and slept- I was fighting with this stupid download of studying material and felt irritable. I listened to my body and laid in bed under the duvet, I then practice self-reflection
2. I wrote a list- this list included stupid things such as eat, have a shower, update twitter and wash up. I ticked off these task as I done them.
3. Mindfulness- as I tackled each task I tried to practiced mindfulness. I let the task take over all my senses and when I found myself worrying about the next thing on my list I brought my mind back to what I was doing at the present moment
4. Take your time- I try to rush and get everything done- which makes my anxiety even worse. I made myself a strong coffee and have given myself all night to get everything done. This was of course more than enough time and I have almost finished the list!
5. Celebrate- I didn’t self-harm- I am so happy and proud of myself!
I don’t have professional coping skills but I think I’m doing really well! Wish me the best of luck with degree won’t you 🙂 Amy Belle