I Am Losing My Mind!

Every time I restart on Seroquel (Quetiapine) my paranoia goes crazy. Paranoia isn’t something often spoken about in mental health but I can tell you that the majority of us suffer from it. We don’t often talk about it because we fear we won’t be believed. My fixation this time was that an old friend was stalking me. I was hallucinating that her car was following me and driving outside my flat for hours. I spent one evening sat looking out my window only for my best friend to tell me that her car wasn’t blue anyway! I was so engulfed in fear that I also made my boyfriend drive around town looking for this make believe car at 11 pm! At the time what you are experiencing feels so real- I was waking up terrified and too scared to open my window. I was sat in the dark in my flat every evening because I was too scared to put the lights on! It is only now a month later the hot weather has finally tempted me to keep my window open and make my home livable again. It was so horrible- I was also hallucinating. My friends and family were really worried and I was working my way to a section again. I also threw all my food away because I was hallucinating bugs were in my food cupboards. I forced myself to confront how I was feeling and realised what I was experiencing was understand and a combination of going back on my medication and post traumatic stress. It is crazy how your mind makes it so real. I am still a bit of a scardey cat at the moment and keep on hearing someone shouting but it turns out that it’s a cow in the field by my house! 😂 I am slowly getting the confidence to leave my house but I can only go food shopping early in the morning or evening. I have never lived like this. I need to be Lioness Amy soon and cannot wait for my paranoia and fear to settle.

“Their shadow turned out to be that of a mouse”

Amy Belle

5 thoughts on “I Am Losing My Mind!

  1. Hi Amy! I wanted to let you know that I think your blog is really powerful and amazing so I want to nominate you for the Liebster Blog Award 🙂

    LIEBSTER AWARD RULES TO FOLLOW IF YOU ACCEPT:

    Recognize/tag the blogger who tagged you
    Answer the 11 questions you were asked
    Tag 5 to 11 new bloggers who you think deserve some love
    Create 11 new questions for your nominees (or use these if you like!)

    For the full list of rules, check out the Global Aussie page, and you can also choose your Liebster Award Image there: https://theglobalaussie.com/blog/liebster-award-2017/

    The questions I’d love you to answer are:
    1. What’s the best thing about where you live?
    2. Who’s your idol?
    3. Favourite inspirational quote?
    4. The scariest thing you’ve ever done?
    5. Your inspiration for writing?
    6. What do you do to relax your mind?
    7. Favourite feel-good song?
    8. Your happy place?
    9. Bravest thing you’ve ever done?
    10. Your favourite book?
    11. Your advice for someone struggling with their mental health?

    Hope you don’t mind me nominating you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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