Cluttered Life, Cluttered Mind

I remember when I was cleaning for hours and I asked my mum why I did it- she said that I was always moving things around in the house because I couldn’t have clutter in my life when it was in mind. It’s true. I am noticing that because I am feeling stressed about going on holiday tomorrow- and we have faced the car breaking down and now the hotel room might not be available- that I have been decluttering the flat and I am cleaning up my social media. I believe that because I can’t control things in life I am trying to gain back that control in other aspects of my life. Some people control what they eat, some people control what they say, my thing is controlling clutter. I can’t have clutter. I have a really bad habit of buying things brand new and then throwing them away. I also try and control things by cleaning and moving them around. I think this is the soul destroying relationship between bipolar, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. When I am manic I become obsessed with things and collect a lot of junk, the anxious girl in me worries so much about the things that she can’t control that the obsessive compulsive in me then throws things away to gain back some control. My friends and family can see that I have a really bad habit. It is such a waste. I noticed that because I am triggering I am decluttering because I can’t have this weight on my mind. I really hope I calm down but inside I feel I am going to burst.

Amy Belle

9 thoughts on “Cluttered Life, Cluttered Mind

  1. It’s going to be great! Things happen, but in the long run they’re just blips in your day, nothing more. I used to be a travel agent and worked in a hotel – if you have made a booking and have a confirmation number or proof, though they should still have your information in the register there, ask them to fix it. They will do their absolute best to accommodate you, and will likely give you a discount or a free upgrade or meal or something as added compensation, if it was their mistake. If they absolutely cannot do that, many will work to find you a room elsewhere. Just be sure that if they don’t offer, to ask that they do so. Even a decent hotel you didn’t book at that has no accommodation will usually look to find you accommodation elsewhere (I’ve also experienced this myself) – it’s good business.
    At the end of the day though, even if it fell through you just sleep elsewhere. So long as you’re in it together, it’ll be a good time šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The key to that inner liberation is to stop repressing those aspects about you that you feel need more “work”, but to just remain a neutral witness, and they will soon wither away….and full enlightenment begins to knock knock.

    Liked by 1 person

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