Why Can’t I Fix Myself?

” When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Is it a stranger or is it me?”

 As I am replying back to my lovely comments and giving words of comfort to others I wonder why am I not kind to myself? I need a taste of my own medicine. I tell others that “it’s OK” and “don’t beat yourself up” and yet I am so unfair to myself! I am my biggest critic. Everyone tells me that I should love myself but I can’t. I have all of the confidence in the world but no self-esteem. I have self-worth but no love for who I am. When you’ve been constantly put down you start to believe it. I feel proud of myself for how far I’ve come but yet a failure. All I want to do is love and look after others. That is when I like myself the most- when I’m Nurse Amy.

Amy Belle

7 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Fix Myself?

  1. I have the same problem. I think many of us do, so you are certainly not alone. It is so much easier to see clearly and unbiased when you are helping others. If we try to follow our own advice we have so many “but….” moments. It is best to take baby steps. Be kind to yourself, and then go from there. That IS some advice of my own that I HAVE taken. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your understanding. I am going to try to think more postiviely of myself as you. I will take your advise and as I am really holding myself back. I hope you are well. Love Amy Belle

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have the same I feel happiest when looking after others but I treat myself as though I am not worth being here as though my life is a failure and I find it difficult most days to be positive to myself. Things like eating healthy exercising and all these little thoughts I tell myself that arent nice. Unfortunately I struggle with myself on a daily basis.

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  3. I think when you suffer a lot you become kinder. Because you start to empathise with other people’s sufferings. I used to be an inconsiderate dick while in college and used to take pride in that. That all changed after my first clinical depression. Strangely I believe depression mostly makes you a better, kinder person. So I know what you are saying here. I do not know what to advise you or should I even advise you at all, but here is something that worked for me. I developed a keen interest in things like astronomy, quantum physics, human psychology and arts and philosophy. Things which do not give you any immediate benefit per se, but lend you a bigger perspective which may make your current unfavourable situation seem insignificant in the broader scale. I am not saying you should try this, prescribed solutions rarely work. But you may find some other things or other ways to get yourself involve to take your mind off of your misery, at least temporarily. It may just make you love yourself once again. Peace. Love from Mumbai – Renny

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You have hit the nail on their head their Renny! Isn’t it strange that we want to protect others from the negativity that we experienced? You have a very refreshing and sensible what of seeing your depression. I have many interests but none that really help me to understand that mental illness does seem a small thing in this big world. Perhaps I should use this perspective in my faith. Many Thanks, Amy Belle

      Liked by 1 person

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