PANIC! 

My panic attacks have come back with revenge. I haven’t had them since last year. Not even the highest dosage of Propranolol is helping. I am having an intense panic attack once a day. I feel this tightness in my chest all day until I let it out. It seems to be happening anytime or anywhere. It is especially embarrassing having one in public. I have several warnings signs that I’ve learned to recognize in order to prepare me for a panic attack: I start hyperventilating, I feel really cold and have this overwhelming need to run away. Sometimes I feel I am in danger and have this feeling of dread. It’s almost like death is coming for me. I’ve had panic attacks where I’ve completely shut down from dizziness and passed out on the floor. I’ve been in the hospital more times than I can count! At the moment the only way I cope with my panic attacks is by experiencing them and letting them pass. Afterward, I feel I can breathe again and go back to normal. My boyfriend says it’s weird how I go from panicking like a caged animal to normal, talking Amy. I guess I’ve had them for so many years now I just get on with it. I find that taking my shoes off and “grounding” myself helps. I had a strange look from a passing lady when I was sat bare foot in the middle of a path once! I find saying a little prayer helps- God takes away this pain. I tell myself that “I am safe, I am safe, I am safe”. My loved ones hold my hand and let me overcome it in my own time. Panic attacks are scary because you can’t control them. They are also frustrating. The mixed feelings they bring make me cry hysterically. I think I am having them more often because I feel loved and am happy. I’m not used to feeling like this- I’m terrified I’ll be hurt or mess it up. All I can do is be strong and remind myself that I have so many things to be happy about and I deserve them.

Amy Belle

18 thoughts on “PANIC! 

  1. Amy, as always your writing is so relatable and inspiring. ❤ I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I have panic attacks too. They knock the wind out of you. But I'm happy that you're at a good place in your life aside from the panic attacks. We just have to keep telling our anxiety to kick rocks!!! Thanks for writing this, dear! 🙂

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    1. Thanks Nun you’re welcome x how many panic attacks a day do you have? It seems to be I can’t just let myself be happy- something is always creeping up on me x

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      1. It really just depends. Sometimes I get what I call “mini panic attacks” multiple times a day. They don’t feel like full blown ones but they still have an impact, you know? Also, I know exactly what you mean. It sucks, I feel like I’m always finding a way to worry about something and it feels like I can never just enjoy the good things that happen in life. Lately, I’ve just been trying to distract myself as much as I possibly can. I hope one day I can be content and I wish that for everyone struggling with anxiety. ❤

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      2. No matter how you experience them a panic attack is a panic attack and still frightening. Do not think so hard on it. You are not alone. And you are as ever very sweet and always thinking of others. X

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  2. This sounds awfully scary, Amy – sorry that you are going through this – I’ll be praying for you.

    I struggle with anxiety as well. I pray, bur listen to my doctor, too. Sounds like you are doing tbe same.

    I’ve been working on identifying the things (or people!) that trigger the downward spiral of worry within me. This is been a very helpful exercise for me to go through, as there have been certain situations that the Lord has delivered me from, and certain relationships that He has removed. It was painful at the time, but in hindsight, I can see it was for my best.

    Hang in there!

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    1. Thank you so much for your prays. You are so kind. Anxiety is horrible isn’t it? I believe in a way it is negative energy trying to get us down which on the Lord can take away. I agree with what you say, he seems to remove people from our lives that hurt us and bless us with the people we need. Since I started asking for more guidance He has shown me the way. God Bless You my friend x

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      1. Keep seeking Him, Amy, snd reading your Bible (I recommend the book of Psalms – a psalm a day is a great way to start!). He’ll meet you where you are each day, and He’ll gradually transform how you act and think (this has been my experience).

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  3. You’re brave to share this Amy. It sounds as if you are doing well learning to recognise the warning signs and grounding yourself. Having people who can support you is also wonderful – never mind what strangers in the street think. In those moments you are what is most important and yes, you deserve all the good things in your life. Enjoy them.

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      1. Oh you must not be in the US

        I was being facetious actually. You might wanna look into something called Phenibut. If you’re in Europe you should be able to get it online. Some describe the effects as similar to Valium. I find it relaxing.

        Trouble is, it’s highly addicting. You shouldn’t take it more than 4 times a week. I took it daily for a month and had some withdrawals when I stopped.

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      2. Yes I am in the UK. I have spoken to a lot of you guys in US and you dont have any silly restrictions like we do here! I am on Xanxax at the moment x But thank you for the thought of the other medication. x

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  4. I have bipolar 2 (aka manic depression)… my panic attacks are awful, I write about them too. I’d really appreciate if you (and others) would check out my blog. I think that raising awareness about mental illnesses can also eliminate the taboo.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi PromotingLove thank you for your comment! I am so sorry to hear you have bad panic attacks too. I will definitely have a read of your blog. You are right we need to talk about it- there is so much shame about it. l hope you are okay? Amy Belle x

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