I cut 

I’m sorry. It was sweet. How can I let go of something that was mine for so long? I have to punish myself for being loved. I deserve love but love doesn’t free. I’m so sorry body. I will sting, but for the few minutes of bliss it’s worth it.  It reminds me that even through I’m feeling dead inside, blood still courses through my veins. 

37 thoughts on “I cut 

  1. Amy, I hope that you’re feeling better. I know it isn’t easy dealing with anxiety/depression 😦 but I can just tell you’re so strong!! Please take care, hun ❤ and feel free to message me if you ever want to talk 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for your support. I am feeling much better now that it is over and done with. Its like a balloon of pressure that needs to be burst from time to time. You can of course message me too x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It really does become part of you! Its like a balloon of pressure that needs bursting now and then. I feel like self harm is one of the few things that is totally mine, I can control and will never leave. X

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I get that, I have a love/hate relationship with it as well. It’s hard to put into words why though. I feel the relief it brings, but for me personally, I also feel ashamed afterwards.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Too many too count unfortunately… but since this has been a part of my identity for so long, they have become a part of me as well. Some days, I can’t lie, I am embarrassed by them. While other days, I embrace them. They show that I have been down a dark path and that I have made it out alive and I am still here, ya know?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. If you’re worried about scars showing, definitely nude tights are the way to go. I mainly stick to upper thighs, but have resorted to stomach and I do have scars all over my arms from the years past. The newest one on my arm is about a year old that I did when I was really upset, and I kind of regret it because it’s very noticeable. I covered some of the ones on wrists up with small tattoos though. How about you?

        Like

      5. Oh bless you but your tummy 😦 you break my heart x I have tattoos along my wrist dedicated to my grandparents so won’t cut there x my scars are covered lower legs and on top lower arms x legs are horrible I don’t cut I hack so they like patches

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I’ve been doing really good though. I am proud to say, even though the thought has crossed my mind recently, I have not cut in over a month. I have made good use of my impulse control logs, and my writing has become my number one coping mechanism for me. Although, I know it’s only a matter of time though because I’ve doing this for far too long. I’m too comfortable with it, if that makes any sense? How long have you been self-harming for?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. You through yourself in the shower under cold water full clothed in crisis it wakes you up brings you back to reality and allows you to punish yourself without causing much harm, obviously don’t give yourself hyperthermia 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I dont self harm in the sense that I get a blade and cut, or burn. However, I spent many years in War Zones allowing my body to be abused. Two broken necks, being shot more than once, etc etc etc….I get it an understand the “release”. You have tons of friends out here. Hit me up anytime! Love you.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s